Starting college is an exciting time in one’s life, full of the promise of new experiences and exciting opportunities but it is also a period of transition which brings its own challenges. Expectations are at an all-time high and when the reality of college is not completely in line with everything you thought it would be, it is disappointing and discouraging.
In an interview with HT Lifestyle, Dr Shalini Sharma, Associate Director – Counselling and Wellness at Plaksha University, suggested some things to keep in mind while navigating your first year of college:
Acknowledge what one is feeling
First and foremost take a moment and tell yourself “Two things are true – I am feeling anxious, stressed, frustrated, confused AND I need to come up with a better plan for the coming year!” Even though our natural impulse is to tell students that “look, others are struggling too”, it doesn’t help. It’s important to acknowledge what we are feeling and knowing that though frustrating feeling this is part of the process.
Figure out what did not go as planned
With the excitement of starting college, some things which we normally struggle with are feeling the pressure to adjust quickly, homesickness, skipping classes, peer interactions, losing sight of academic coursework, making all-nighters a habit, hesitant to ask for help from peers and faculty, going overboard with spending money. Once identified, it becomes easier to have things fall in place.
Social connections
Loneliness on campus can be frustrating and at the same time it’s also an important part of transition to campus life. If making friends is a challenge, it’s suggested to do something you are already interested in while trying out something new on campus. Making new friends can be difficult but the onus does lie with us to initiate those interactions. Continue to have those short complaining sessions with trusted adults as you don’t have to deal with this alone. It’s natural to start being friends with people who have similar life experiences and backgrounds but that should only be the beginning. Do nudge and push yourself a bit to seek out and form friendships with people who have a different set of life experiences and world views from you.
Take steps to build your academic support system
If one is struggling academically, it can tend to influence all parts of our wellbeing on campus. Coming to campus can involve a loss of the old way of studying and doing things. While at home, by and large meals and a schedule was taken care of but once on campus late night studying, hanging out with friends, cramming for exams can come in the way of managing our time responsibly. Be curious, when you don’t understand something in a class. Ask a faculty member to help you understand it. Try reaching out to academic support team and faculty members for specific inputs. Tell yourself from time to time, “I can do hard things!”
Build your Functional anchors
Some of our basic functional anchors are nutrition, exercise and sleep which normally go out of the window when we are struggling. It’s important to identify and build our anchors which can help ground us during the day.
It’s courageous to ask for help often
When things don’t go well, let yourself know it’s not true that everybody else is succeeding at every aspect of their life while you are not. Take it with a pinch of salt when you see others thrive on campus on their social media accounts. Do reach out to support services on campus as you are not meant to go through this on your own. Even though reaching out to people can feel overwhelming it’s important to take up small experiments each day to do so.
Ultimately, your college is experience is whatever YOU want it to be. It is about growing as a person, which can be hard and messy as well as fun and exciting!