Marriage may be a romantic concept where two people who care and love each other decide to be together. However, beyond the romance, there are many factors that a couple should discuss, especially their financial goals, before deciding to tie the knot. As your choice of partner can make or break your finances.
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A similar thing happened with a woman who explained her ordeal on a subreddit, r/Marriage, writing, “I’m on unpaid maternity leave. My husband still expects me to pay half the rent,” asking Reddit users if the situation is fair to her and sharing their thoughts on her situation.
Man expects his wife to pay half the expenses after childbirth
Explaining her situation, the Reddit user confessed that her husband earns 4 times what she does. “I earn $68k and he earns $280k,” she revealed. The woman added that their rent is $2.6k/month, and they have been splitting rent 50-50 since they moved in together. Additionally, the arrangement did not change even after their marriage.
The woman added, “Now that we have a baby, with me having 0 income, so I’m relying on my personal savings. I say personal because we don’t have a joint account. We are currently looking for a house, and I’m also expected to contribute to the deposit (75% of my total savings). Is this fair? What is the best way to approach this?”
She also highlighted a few other aspects of their financial arrangement, which included:
- Utility bills used to be split 50-50, but since I stopped working, he pays for them.
- Since there is no joint account and he doesn’t give me any allowance for baby stuff, I ended up buying most of them. Baby is only 4months old and breastfed exclusively.
- He pays for most of the grocery bill and dines out. If I go by myself, I have to pay. So I try not to.
- He funds our overseas travel, once a year, to visit his family.
- We don’t have any loans or debts.
How did the internet react?
The woman’s post was shared on Instagram and Reddit, where users strongly criticised the man for making his wife contribute to rent, baby’s expenses, groceries, and other miscellaneous expenses, when she is taking care of their baby, both financially, emotionally, and physically.
Someone commented, “If you make your wife pay for rent after she gave birth while having money to do so, she should really be considering the alternatives.”
Another user wrote, “In which world would you ask your wife to do 50/50 when you earn 4 times what she earns? I hope she makes him pay for the usage of her body in order to give him a child.”
A Reddit user called the arrangement financial abuse and wrote, “Start charging him for childcare and cleaning services. Even when you return to the workforce, you should not be paying half.”
Another said, “This is wildly unacceptable. It would likely be cheaper and easier to be a single parent. He is financially abusing you.” One suggested, “She should divorce him and take 1/2 of his money since he wants to be an evil miser.”
What should someone in a similar situation do?
Firstly, it is important to realise that the husband and wife are in an unequal financial dynamic. It isn’t just about splitting the bills, it is about recognising labour, physical, financial and emotional, in raising their child. Expecting a new mother to pay 50/50 is not equitable. Additionally, the couple should have a serious conversation about money values, expectations, and fairness. Lastly, having a joint account for the baby and valuing her unpaid labour, should be a priority for the couple if he wants to sustain his marriage.
Note for readers: This article reflects the individual’s account and public reactions. It is not professional advice. Readers should seek professional guidance when faced with relationship and mental health issues.