Honeymoon is the first chapter in a married couple’s life, kickstarting their journey with a dreamy, romantic getaway. But this much-anticipated trip is getting turned into a full-blown family vacation with in-laws and even siblings tagging along. Instead of intimate couples massage therapies, honeymoons are slowly becoming awkward with uncomfortable dinner table conversations and day sightseeing with family.
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White Lotus anyone?
HBO’s White Lotus series, which follows the staff and guests at a luxury resort, taps into a similar shock factor: the big punch in the gut when Rachel Patton’s mother-in-law, Kitty Patton, shows up uninvited on honeymoon to surprise them. The mother was so obsessed with her son, Shane, that she crashed their honeymoon. Redditors shared their experience on r/WhiteLotusHBO about how they, too, experienced or witnessed a similar awkward situation.
Recounting the awkward horror story, one user commented, “My first wedding was in Vegas and I kid you not, at the hotel my MIL (mother-in-law) was somehow assigned not only the room next door, but an adjoining room – as in there was direct access from one room to the other.”
Again, it is not just parents, but siblings too, as they unexpectedly come along. One user wrote,“I was 5 months pregnant on my honeymoon so we only went to the coast for a few days but my husband invited his brother so they could go fishing.”
Sometimes, the couple is also helpless, as another person recalled their naighbour’s experiece, “I had a neighbor whose Mother-in-Law and Father-in-Law went on their honeymoon with them. They felt they could because they gifted the couple their honeymoon to Hawaii. Such a strange, odd, family.” This shows the unexpected obligation that can come with accepting grand gestures, like funding the honeymoon, but at the cost of personal time and space.
Why is this harmful?
This is a particularly harmful concept when couples are not fully in agreement about having parents in. Sometimes they do it out of obligation or feel pressured. A report of Fox News Digital covered the insights of Thea Gallagher, a psychologist and the wellness programs director at NYU Langone Health in New York City, who called it an ‘interesting concept’.
She said, “I think it probably depends on your relationship with your parents and your agreement with your partner. Obviously, it would be important for both of you to be in agreement that this is the good choice.”
Further, Gallagher explained that in-laws tagging along can cause several issues, from overstepping boundaries with no personal space to unsolicited advice. It also causes loyalty conflicts where one partner feels conflicted about whom to spend time with their newly married spouse or parents. She also added that cultural gaps and poor communication escalate the tension, making it a task for the couple to spend time peacefully.