Several years ago, Molly Carlson enjoyed posting “perfectly captured and edited pictures” to her Instagram account.
Faking, she says, almost a perfect life.
But Carlson developed a binge-eating disorder before Canada’s 2016 Olympic diving trials while struggling with anxiety and body dysmorphia disorder, a condition that constantly had her thinking about one or more perceived defects or flaws in her appearance.
Carlson limited herself to 300 calories a day at least five days a week, threw breakfast prepared by her mother on the floor and ate three almonds for lunch.
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Unsuccessful in qualifying for the Summer Games in Rio by two spots, the disappointment revealed Carlson’s silent struggle with mental health but led to her seeking help for the disordered eating and prioritizing her well-being.
The Thunder Bay, Ont.-born athlete began studies that fall at Florida State University in Tallahassee, where she worked with diving coach John Proctor, who appreciated the energy Carlson brought to practice and was supportive during her mental health struggles.
“I had a tough high school journey with disordered eating and body image,” Carlson told Mariam Kourabi this week at CBC Sports headquarters in Toronto. “I struggled accepting myself as a taller [five-foot-nine] diver.
“John said, ‘You’re so much more than your body. You’re a positive person, and the judges can feel that.'”
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The collab we didn’t know we needed! Canadian high diver Molly Carlson talks about what it was like to race fellow Red Bull athlete and Canadian swimming phenom Summer McIntosh. More of this please.
Four years later, Carlson left FSU as one of the most accomplished divers in Atlantic Coast Conference history and only the second Seminole to win ACC meet MVP three times.
“It was a beautiful journey of learning to love myself again,” said Carlson, a Montreal resident who transitioned to cliff diving in 2020 and is among the best in the world. “Being able to talk to a coach about mental health, having him realize I have anxiety and respect it. That was the first time I felt supported in that way.”
These days, the 26-year-old Carlson posts across multiple social media platforms encouraging people — including those feeling alone in their life journey — to share their stories and speak their truth about mental health advocacy and self-image through #BraveGang, a large online community movement she founded a few years ago.
‘Get out there and live your best life’
“I wanted people … to share their own brave stories and be proud of themselves. It’s such a safe place where you can be yourself and be supported,” she said.
“I think one of the bravest things is to accept who you are, get out there and live your best life.”
WATCH | Carlson captures historic high diving silver medal in 2023:
Molly Carlson from Thunder Bay, Ont., finishes second in the women’s high diving finals at the World Aquatics Championships in Fukuoka, Japan. Carlson and Jessica Macaulay, who placed third, make history by capturing Canada’s first-ever medals in the event.
Carlson described not feeling connected to a community until she stopped posting pictures to Instagram and began sharing experiences about feeling bloated, anxious or overwhelmed that forced her to leave practice early.
“Being there for each other is everything,” said Carlson, who was among 27 content creators hired by NBCUniversal last year to share their experiences on the ground at the Paris Olympics. “One big thing in sports, especially, is that your body should never limit your dreams. Your appearance should never limit your goals.
“So many girls drop out of doing a sport they love because they’re scared of what they look like. I want everyone to love who they are.”
Carlson grew up inspired by American volleyball player Victoria Garrick, who also struggled with a binge-eating disorder. She progressed from those dark days to her real self, motivating Carlson to take a raw approach to her content when speaking to her nearly two million YouTube followers and four million users on TikTok.
She noted Garrick opened the door for athletes to be vulnerable about body image and disordered eating.
Carlson also believes the knowledge gained from having earned a bachelor of arts degree in psychology and working on her master of arts in counselling psychology has given her the confidence to share with others.
“It gave me that confidence to be vulnerable. It used to be taboo talking about mental health,” said Carlson, wearing a pink Red Bull ballcap and matching blazer. “The more I heard every day at school, I wanted to be someone who can talk about [it] openly.
“It’s such a journey to have struggles growing up and to finally find your place. I’m grateful I can represent [Canada], go to world championships or big events around the world and be proud of myself and the body I come in.
“Cliff diving’s not the greatest thing I’ve ever done,” added Carlson. “It was definitely opening up about my mental health.”