Have you ever felt the need to distance yourself from your loved ones or social settings when you feel overwhelmed or stressed? The coping strategy may be a trauma response stemming from your childhood. Psychotherapist Nadia Addesi took to Instagram to talk about why we feel the urge to be alone when stressed or overwhelmed and its link to our childhood coping strategies.
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Who do we isolate ourselves when overwhelmed or stressed?
Nadia posted a video on Instagram with the title, “When my therapist tells me that the reason I isolate when I’m overwhelmed is because I had to learn to deal with all of my problems alone as a child.” In the caption, she explained why many people have this emotional response.
The psychotherapist explained that sometimes, the coping strategies we learned in our childhood could follow us to adulthood, and it can be hard to link the connection. So, if someone grows up in a household where they were not validated or supported while struggling, they may develop a sense of independence to get through things alone. They may also ‘isolate themselves to regulate their emotions and feelings at the moment’. This is why people have an intense need to be alone when they feel stressed or overwhelmed.
How does it harm you and your loved ones?
“While this isn’t necessarily an unhealthy coping strategy it can become a problem when it impacts our ability to communicate with others as well as process our own emotions,” Nadia explained.
Per the psychotherapist, while it can be challenging to reverse this habit, baby steps can make it possible. “The biggest thing to remember is that you are safe in the moment, in your body. If you feel comfortable, slowly start communicating your feelings with people you love. This can include emotions of happiness, joy, excitement, etc.”
Additionally, sharing your thoughts can be a way to build up the confidence to talk through all emotions and to let someone know that you need a minute to process before you can continue. Lastly, Nadi stressed that we humans are wired for connection and need other people. Therefore, it is important that we build connections and share our emotions with loved ones.
Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only and not a substitute for professional advice.